battlefield

I'm determined to get over the blogging lull I've given in to.  I've been wanting to get these thoughts down on "paper" for almost a month.  Disclaimer:  Mace and I celebrated our 5th anniversary this month and love each other (and, really, are each other's faves...on a good day ;)).  This post is a small culmination of work we've done in the past three years as well as what we're doing now.

A few weeks ago, I read somewhere, "love is not a fight..."(referring to the marriage kind of love) and it got the squeaky wheels in my head turning.  I really disagree with that statement(though I know where they writer was going with it).  Our relationship or, rather, growing, preserving, and protecting(with liberty and justice for all) our relationship (especially once it became a marriage) is at least one of the greatest fights of our lives.  No matter where we turn, there is opposition.  Advertising, movies, social media, work, kids, friends, money, hobbies.  And not even half of it's negative influence.  Our lives are full.  We have to fight for our sacred alone time.  For sacred family time.  The sexed up society we live in, that is full of sexually driven advertising and a Golden Corral-style buffet of visual pleasure, threatens to swallow us whole, and drive us apart.  The scariest part of it all?  It happens without us even noticing.  We think we're doing the "right" things - providing for our family, parenting, investing in the lives of others, and at the end of the day, there is no time for each other.  So we put it off.  Again, and again, and again.  And all of a sudden, "they're not the person I fell in love with," and it's an end.  And it changes not only the present and certainly the future, but also the past.

You know the point in your workout/run where you're dripping with sweat and you are past the point of exhaustion, but you have to keep going?  And then once you've invested your time/energy, you're stronger and more centered and SO glad you pushed through the muck of last night's junky meal, scary attack dog, your lack of hydration, mosquitoes feasting, and the suffocating Georgia humidity?  When it's worth every exhausting minute?  Sometimes, that's how I picture marriage:  Fighting against all of our shortcomings(individual and mutual) and outside noise and direct attacks on the strength and resilience of  and peace in our marriage.  It's a battlefield out there.  We're fighting for our family and for our marriage.  On my first post-delivery run, I borrowed my baby sister's ipod(I think it made me a Belieber) and Jordin Sparks said we better get our armor.  And, by George(who's George??), we've got it....or, well, we're getting it.  Our most crucial pieces of armor consists of mentors - pivotal people in our lives who challenge us and hold us accountable, and people we can lean on, our relationships with Jesus, and spiritual, physical, and emotional health.  We're working really hard on the health part these days.  Counseling, people, counseling.  Thank GOD for counseling (for REAL, it is so important)!  We're digging in and working through crap with our therapist and we're resolute.  Despite all of our baggage and the noise that tries(and in the past we've allowed to) force a wedge between us.  We will survive...hey, hey.