For the Christmas card(HAH, it's January 5 and they are STILL waiting for stamps) crowd, and for those who are getting to know us here in Kentucky, I thought I'd give you a little background on the three of us...sort of nerdy Christmas newsletter-style. I'll start in 2006. Maybe it won't be much background after all...maybe just a little something to break the ice? Oh well...
2006
Mace's last semester of undergrad(he credits his internship with Clayton County DFACS for his disenchantment with Human Relations, aka, Psychology/Counseling/Sociology), Brei's wisdom teeth gone(hello, dry sockets!), The Christian Minstrels(think, The Sing-Off),Wedding dress number 2, nannying, Mace's graduation(college), Abby's graduation(highschool), Dad's retirement(from teaching in GA, not teaching in general), 12-week internship crammed into 5 & 1/2, July 12thdreambeachwedding, honeymoon in The Poconos(MUCH hotter than you would expect the mountains to be in July....yes, I know, July...but still), ACC Security, barista(Mace) in the Sweet Auburn Curb Market, senioritis, marital bliss, Brei's puppy (kept him 6 weeks), CarMax, first holidays married.
2007
Bought and built (to suit) our first house in January, graduated in May, moved in weekend after graduation, more nannying, counselor for a week at Woodland(good thing I didn't plan on being a career camp counselor), and got a "PREGNANT" on July 11 - Happy 1st Anniversary! Nausea 24/7 for 20-ish weeks, manager at McKinney's at ACC, trip to Jordan while 25 weeks preggers (being with fam made the stupid long flight totally worth it), bickering, Mace still loving CarMax and on the fast track to management. Exciting times...last holidays sans-kids!
2008
Pre-term labor, marital distance, making new friends, early "maternity leave," nesting (a LOT of nesting), March19-Ace was born! Post-partum craziness, selfishness, CarMax sales spiral downward, beach, hypothyroidism(oh, THAT'S why I was going bald), jealousy, bitterness, insults, divorce threats, breakthroughs, appreciating the little things, backtracking and starting small, Titus' wedding! decide to move to Kentucky (planning to pursue grad school - Mace), treasuring our moments, re-learning to enjoy each other's company, put house on the (dead) market, Ace's first holidays...so precious!
2009
House won't sell, ear infection, exhaust all other options, ear infection, car sales go in the toilet, Ace turns 1! ear infection, OCD and panic attacks sky rocket, Abby's wedding! ear infection, debt is beyond overwhelming, begin treatment for OCD and panic attacks (amaaaazing psychiatrist!),ear infection, bankruptcy becomes our only option, ear infection, moved to Kentucky, ear infection, begin to get settled, find Southland(thrilled!!), unity, peace in our marriage, ear infection, enjoying time together, ear infection, taking it all in, loving our boy, choosing to love each other and to love Christ every day, making new friends (finally!), a LOT of traveling for the holidays, some sickness but NO ear infections! Christmas in Ohio with SNOW! Contemplating what the future will bring...
Right now, Mace is a floating assistant store manager for two tire stores around Lexington and we are anxious to see what's next! We are immensely grateful for the "fresh start" we've been given, and the chance to get back on our feet. Shame on us if we go a day without thanking and praising God for our wonderful support system that has given us a place to LIVE! We are all three desperate for more time with each other and time to dig in and serve at church! We miss our friends and family greatly and value each of you in our lives. Thank you for the role you have had in where and who we are today! Looking so forward to see what we're "really" here in Kentucky for!
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
05 January 2010
20 July 2009
Home (Alternately titled, "This May be a Long One")
This world is not my home. I've been saying, for the past 4 or so months, that I've been living in a constant "this world is not my home" state of mind. I long to really be home, to see the face of my Savior. To really be in His Presence. I truly ache to be where I will spend eternity with Jehovah-Rophe - "the one who heals" (healing all levels of man's being; implies complete - physical, emotional, and spiritual healing).
I've lived with OCD for as long as I can remember (a painfully long time!), but there have been times, throughout my life, when my anxiety is overwhelming. Several months ago, something triggered a paralyzing cycle of anxiety for me. I began taking medication (a very low dose) to help with the anxiety in May and finally saw a psychiatrist (FABULOUS!) in early June. I went from about five (literally) panic attacks a day and an absolute miserable homelife for my husband and son, to going at least 5 days without even a hint of a panic attack and such peace in my marriage and at home. And believe me, I've had PLENTY to panic attack about lately! Thank you, zoloft! March-late June were literally some of the most excruciating months of my life. And I promise you, they were long...I lived second-to-second. I am so grateful to have an amazing, supportive best friend in my husband. He has put up with so much through the years. I only wish he had stood up for himself sooner. But I praise God that my wonderful sister in-law and brother are bold enough and love me enough to intervene and encourage Mace to demand that we really get me some help, and to encourage me to put my well-being in the hands of a professional. My psychiatrist is wonderful, and treatment has been harder than hoped, but easier than I thought!
Even though I am getting better - still not there, but we're leaps and bounds ahead of where we thought we'd be going into this, I am still reminded on a daily basis how far from Home I am. And I'm grateful that this "little" bump in the road has reminded me not to become too attached to things in this world. Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband and precious son. I can't imagine loving any human being more. My family and friends are wonderful. But this trial has put a lot into perspective for me. And just in time.
At the end of June, after exploring every option with our house (selling, renting, etc) we made the decision to file for chapter 7 bankruptcy. Yuck. Something we never in a million years would've imagined we would be doing. The process has been emotional and exhausting, but has brought Mace and me closer than ever. We have never been so resolute. I adore that man more than I ever thought was possible. I am so proud of him. I wish that there wasn't such negativity associated with bankruptcy...most of which is based on misconceptions. We made some financial mistakes, but the odds have been anything but in our favor for a long time. This is proving to be humiliating and such a huge relief, and we're moving forward wiser and more humble, for sure. At this point, everyone involved agrees that this is our only feasible option if we're going to make the move anytime soon...and we need to. So...we're moving to Lexington, Kentucky on August 2nd! Please excuse me while I go hurl* and find the xanax.** Seriously, though, I have become so much less attached to Atlanta as of late, and less attached to some material possessions that have, in the past, made me feel "at home." So, my temporary home is moving locations...and looking forward to my eternal home, I am filled with anticipation for what the future holds!
I will miss my friends and family immensely, but I really am stoked about moving! I LOVE Lexington...it's beautiful! I am actually really excited about living with my in-laws, too! Ace has really started to form a relationship with them and will I know love getting to spend so much time with them! Mace will be working and taking some pre-reqs to catch up while he gets some time under his belt for in-state tution. We are so ready and feel such indescribable peace about this all. Thanks so much for the love, prayers, support, and encouragement you all have given us during this at times painful process!
*gross exaggeration
**I told you I had plenty to panic about! BUT, I actually haven't taken a xanax in over a week! :)
I've lived with OCD for as long as I can remember (a painfully long time!), but there have been times, throughout my life, when my anxiety is overwhelming. Several months ago, something triggered a paralyzing cycle of anxiety for me. I began taking medication (a very low dose) to help with the anxiety in May and finally saw a psychiatrist (FABULOUS!) in early June. I went from about five (literally) panic attacks a day and an absolute miserable homelife for my husband and son, to going at least 5 days without even a hint of a panic attack and such peace in my marriage and at home. And believe me, I've had PLENTY to panic attack about lately! Thank you, zoloft! March-late June were literally some of the most excruciating months of my life. And I promise you, they were long...I lived second-to-second. I am so grateful to have an amazing, supportive best friend in my husband. He has put up with so much through the years. I only wish he had stood up for himself sooner. But I praise God that my wonderful sister in-law and brother are bold enough and love me enough to intervene and encourage Mace to demand that we really get me some help, and to encourage me to put my well-being in the hands of a professional. My psychiatrist is wonderful, and treatment has been harder than hoped, but easier than I thought!
Even though I am getting better - still not there, but we're leaps and bounds ahead of where we thought we'd be going into this, I am still reminded on a daily basis how far from Home I am. And I'm grateful that this "little" bump in the road has reminded me not to become too attached to things in this world. Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband and precious son. I can't imagine loving any human being more. My family and friends are wonderful. But this trial has put a lot into perspective for me. And just in time.
At the end of June, after exploring every option with our house (selling, renting, etc) we made the decision to file for chapter 7 bankruptcy. Yuck. Something we never in a million years would've imagined we would be doing. The process has been emotional and exhausting, but has brought Mace and me closer than ever. We have never been so resolute. I adore that man more than I ever thought was possible. I am so proud of him. I wish that there wasn't such negativity associated with bankruptcy...most of which is based on misconceptions. We made some financial mistakes, but the odds have been anything but in our favor for a long time. This is proving to be humiliating and such a huge relief, and we're moving forward wiser and more humble, for sure. At this point, everyone involved agrees that this is our only feasible option if we're going to make the move anytime soon...and we need to. So...we're moving to Lexington, Kentucky on August 2nd! Please excuse me while I go hurl* and find the xanax.** Seriously, though, I have become so much less attached to Atlanta as of late, and less attached to some material possessions that have, in the past, made me feel "at home." So, my temporary home is moving locations...and looking forward to my eternal home, I am filled with anticipation for what the future holds!
I will miss my friends and family immensely, but I really am stoked about moving! I LOVE Lexington...it's beautiful! I am actually really excited about living with my in-laws, too! Ace has really started to form a relationship with them and will I know love getting to spend so much time with them! Mace will be working and taking some pre-reqs to catch up while he gets some time under his belt for in-state tution. We are so ready and feel such indescribable peace about this all. Thanks so much for the love, prayers, support, and encouragement you all have given us during this at times painful process!
*gross exaggeration
**I told you I had plenty to panic about! BUT, I actually haven't taken a xanax in over a week! :)
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