happy baby news

All of my older sibs are all parents now.  My older brother and his awesome wife did THIS!

 Aghhh, he is just delish!

 Proud (one of many)aunt

 most presh cheeks, chin and mouth!

love you mucho already, sweet baby!

happy birthday, Axl Phoenix!

There are no words adequate for sharing our sweet boy with y'all.  He is such a peaceful source of joy and life to us all.  Axl is quite the charmer and we absolutely adore him.  Utterly wrecked with gratitude to the Giver of Life for this angel boy.  We don't deserve him, but humbly and happily welcome the responsibility of his precious little life. 

 Sweet baby, we were surely lost before we had you.

you're gonna miss this

It's pretty darn easy to find legitimately unpleasant things about every stage of life if we choose to, and we(guilty!) usually do.  For much of my life, I longed for the next stage:  one without school, one with a boyfriend(fun phase, huh, mom?!), with a car, away from home, engaged, married, kids.  You get the picture.  But my sweet, dedicated mom really showed us how to be content(grateful!).  In her circumstances, position, "phase," she chooses contentment.  Complaining was not something you got away with in our house growing up :-)  and I am so grateful that our parents drove Philippians 2 home...and we spent a lot of time "meditating"(aka writing it out 5,789 times, learning it backward and forward, in 3 other languages and 6 translations) on verse 14:  "Do everything without complaining or arguing,"(NIV1984).  I just found Phil. 2:14-16 in The Message and LOVE the way it's delivered:
^14-16Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.
 Love this as it applies to a parent/child relationship.  The last sentence is hilarious when I think about everything a parent does and "endures."


As I'm writing this post, I'm really struggling to put my words into practice.  It is SO hard waking up throughout the night(Axl's acid reflux, a wet toddler bed, bad dreams, random baby screaming, or just because we've gotten into a bad habit of getting Axl up while he's been sick(we're up to 6 ear infections this year), etc.) month after month.  I'm exhausted beyond words.   I haven't had an uninterrupted shower(or a doodie...or even a pee, for that matter) in a few years.  The days of browsing my fave little boutique have been replaced with hours in the toy aisles at Target(seriously, ask Ace what his fave thing is, that's the answer you'll get!).  It takes me half an hour to get ready for a 45 minute pharmacy trip for one item.  My world right now revolves around kid food, toys, repeating myself and explaining things countless times throughout the day, following one kid to pick up what he's dropped that would be dangerous for the munchkin toddling behind him, poop, pee, and spit-up.  It's not glamorous and I have very little time to myself, and virtually no time off.  Aside from my couponing(I'm starting to get the hang of it, y'all.  It's so fun!) or crafting(which I have done rarely in the past year), there is really nothing tangible to show for all of the hours I pour into my boys and my home.  And I could easily sink into a state of self-pity, resenting my kids and/or my husband(you know, because it's their fault I'm in this position in the first place!).

It would be ridiculously easy to spend my days counting the minutes till bedtime, or when Axl's less dependent on me or less clingy, or when Ace stops asking so many questions(please, never!).  When Ace was a baby, we were eager for the upcoming milestones.  The time when we could lay him on the floor/bed/couch and he wouldn't move was something I took for granted.  As was the time his day merely revolved around a boob/bottle, sleep, and poop.  That is as simple and easy(and, essentially predictable, too) as it gets!  Later, you have to build blockades so Littles won't escape to somewhere dangerous, or get into something capable of starting a chemical reaction.  Meals morph into containers of stinky, messy goop.  Soon, they won't just sleep anywhere.  Their naps will whittle away to eventually none and they have (gasp!) OPINIONS.  I'm not sure who said it this way first, but the only thing that's predictable about having a child is the unpredictable.  One of the many reasons I am so thankful for new mercies and for abundant grace. With every breath.

But call me an old soul, or just well-read when it comes to people who have lost their precious babies and/or spouses way before they should have, I just refuse to be a complainer.  I will not wish away this time of life. Sure, my OCD makes it "easy" to control thinking and my behavior(c'mon, if that was really true, we wouldn't have to support a psychiatrist's golf habit).  The choice to live in the moment and get everything possible out of every ounce of life is hard work and super involved. A few blogs spurred this "love them now, love them good" perspective.  These women have stretched my faith and their stories have scarred my heart in the most beautiful way.  My perspective has changed forever.  I try not to live my life in fear of what if's, but I guess that's what it started out as.  What if this was the last day with your baby, child, spouse?  Wouldn't you be a little more loving, a little slower to light a rocket in your unders, and soak up every sweet, frustrating, slobber-filled, stinky, precious, irreplaceable moment?  Then stop complaining and do it.

I'm not saying it's easy.  We've got the hardest job of 'em all.  They're needy and filthy and stink and peel our brains like a banana(thanks, Mark Gungor, for that one) and WHINY.  But worth every second.  And someone always has it worse than I do.  Things can always get worse.  No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse than they are right now.  I have to remind myself of that often.  One day, us mamas(and papas) will miss it.  I'm sure of it.  Heck, I already do.

battlefield

I'm determined to get over the blogging lull I've given in to.  I've been wanting to get these thoughts down on "paper" for almost a month.  Disclaimer:  Mace and I celebrated our 5th anniversary this month and love each other (and, really, are each other's faves...on a good day ;)).  This post is a small culmination of work we've done in the past three years as well as what we're doing now.

A few weeks ago, I read somewhere, "love is not a fight..."(referring to the marriage kind of love) and it got the squeaky wheels in my head turning.  I really disagree with that statement(though I know where they writer was going with it).  Our relationship or, rather, growing, preserving, and protecting(with liberty and justice for all) our relationship (especially once it became a marriage) is at least one of the greatest fights of our lives.  No matter where we turn, there is opposition.  Advertising, movies, social media, work, kids, friends, money, hobbies.  And not even half of it's negative influence.  Our lives are full.  We have to fight for our sacred alone time.  For sacred family time.  The sexed up society we live in, that is full of sexually driven advertising and a Golden Corral-style buffet of visual pleasure, threatens to swallow us whole, and drive us apart.  The scariest part of it all?  It happens without us even noticing.  We think we're doing the "right" things - providing for our family, parenting, investing in the lives of others, and at the end of the day, there is no time for each other.  So we put it off.  Again, and again, and again.  And all of a sudden, "they're not the person I fell in love with," and it's an end.  And it changes not only the present and certainly the future, but also the past.

You know the point in your workout/run where you're dripping with sweat and you are past the point of exhaustion, but you have to keep going?  And then once you've invested your time/energy, you're stronger and more centered and SO glad you pushed through the muck of last night's junky meal, scary attack dog, your lack of hydration, mosquitoes feasting, and the suffocating Georgia humidity?  When it's worth every exhausting minute?  Sometimes, that's how I picture marriage:  Fighting against all of our shortcomings(individual and mutual) and outside noise and direct attacks on the strength and resilience of  and peace in our marriage.  It's a battlefield out there.  We're fighting for our family and for our marriage.  On my first post-delivery run, I borrowed my baby sister's ipod(I think it made me a Belieber) and Jordin Sparks said we better get our armor.  And, by George(who's George??), we've got it....or, well, we're getting it.  Our most crucial pieces of armor consists of mentors - pivotal people in our lives who challenge us and hold us accountable, and people we can lean on, our relationships with Jesus, and spiritual, physical, and emotional health.  We're working really hard on the health part these days.  Counseling, people, counseling.  Thank GOD for counseling (for REAL, it is so important)!  We're digging in and working through crap with our therapist and we're resolute.  Despite all of our baggage and the noise that tries(and in the past we've allowed to) force a wedge between us.  We will survive...hey, hey.

#movingforward

I'm not necessarily a huge fan of change.  It can be really exhausting and tends to produce a lot of anxiety for me.  However, one change I am every bit Gung-ho about is the change my Alma Mater is going through.  A name change and location change are huge, but so exciting!  Understandably(but unfortunately), there are many who are not exactly enthusiastic about it all(it's hard for me to see past their verbal kicking, whining, and fist pounding - they're giving my toddler a run for his fit-pitching money), and they're ever so generous with their opinions and feelings.  This weekend, several of my friends have voiced their support for the university, and I wanted to chip in. 

I could not be more proud of the direction Point University is heading.  The mission, values, goals, and vision of the university are stronger than ever.  I am so grateful for the dedication of those behind the scenes, who have invested so much of their lives into the future of our Alma Mater.  To the leadership at Point University and those who are instrumental in orchestrating the name change and move - thank you for taking steps to make sure the institution lives on and will continue to shape points of influence to send out into the world.  No one expected everyone affected by the change to agree 100% with all of the decisions made, but I'm sure that this voiced lack of support, especially from alumni, is particularly discouraging.    

Bottom line:  Those who are taking the changes in stride, AND those who have gotten their panties in a wad over it ALL attended the institution that was formerly known as Atlanta Christian College.  That institution is now known as Point University. 

I hope that all of us, especially I, will start focusing our energy on more pressing matters.  Things that matter more to Jesus than the name of a school. 

crawling bootcamp

Axl doesn't exactly care about moving around at this point, but we still make a point to get him to at least try.  This is how it goes.

  We're gonna work on what??

 Not exactly a running start.

 You seriously let us watch this stuff?

 What do you mean, I'll have to walk one day?

Aaaarrrrggghh!

I'm really not okay with this!

 just

 can't

 do it.

Just give me the boob!!!

Utter defeat.

Sorry, my perfect little lop-sided head.

Any tips, moms of (over-achieving) crawlers?!